


Darkness

by Mattie_4374



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Depression, Hurt/Comfort, lena needs a hug, trigger warning thoughts of self harm, trigger warning thoughts of suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-18
Updated: 2020-04-18
Packaged: 2021-02-23 13:35:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,242
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23712334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mattie_4374/pseuds/Mattie_4374
Summary: Lena is close to letting the darkness consume her. Kara is there, she always is
Relationships: Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor
Comments: 3
Kudos: 97





	Darkness

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger warning for self harm and thoughts and talk of suicide.

Depression doesn’t make sense. It’s a black hole of lies and lack of energy and the want and will to die. It makes no sense, but then again Lena’s whole life has never made much sense.   
But from the outside Lena’s life looked fine. She was the daughter of a rick family and ever since the ‘crisis’ she is no longer ceo of L-Corp and is free to peruse her life in the lab.  
Lena hasn’t been happy for a long time. Since before crisis, and even before her fight with Kara. Just going through the motions and making face to the public so no one suspected a thing.   
But alone she was struggling. The depression made it hard to move out of bed but at the same time made it to where she couldn’t sleep. It took all of her energy most days to shower and dress for work.   
On days she didn’t have to work she rarely left her bed, the thought of even lifting her tooth brush too much to handle.  
Today was one of those days. Her mind swirling with terrible thoughts and her energy depleted.  
Mid afternoon Lena decided that she wanted to feel something other than the darkness and the sadness. Gathering all of her strength she went to the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of whisky, forgoing a glass and carrying the whole bottle out onto her balcony.   
As soon as she shut the sliding glass door she leaned against it and felt her body crumble under the weight of the darkness.   
Settling on the floor Lena took a long swig and sighed as it burned going down.   
Thoughts came and went in her mind but she kept coming back to the balcony and how this would be all over if she could find the strength to stand up and jump over the ledge.   
No one would miss her, all of her problems would be gone, this sadness would be over if only she could just stand and jump. But she was too weak, too sad, too tired, too scared to jump despite how much she wanted to.   
“Kara would catch me anyways” she scoffed out loud realizing by the roughness in her voice that she was crying.   
Kara.   
Absentmindedly Lena fished her phone out of pocket and hit her only speed dial, someone she hadn’t called in months.   
She answered on the second ring.   
“Lena?” Karas sweet voice came over the phone.   
“I can’t do it” Lena cried and sniffled upset at herself for being weak.   
“Can’t do what?” Kara asked worried, “Lena where are you?”   
“Home. In the darkness.” Lena answered as she took another generous swing of the burning liquid.   
Before Lena could register what was happening Kara had landed in front of her, but not as supergirl. This was Kara, yoga pants and a national city University tee, hair in a messy bun, glasses fitted to the bridge of her nose.   
Kara landed and kneeled next to Lena, gently prying the bottle from her hand.   
Lena seemed to stare right through Kara as she sat in front of the dark haired girl.   
“Lena? Are you hurt?” Kara asked lightly tapping Lena’s arm to get her attention.   
Lena laughed with no humor behind it, “No but I want to be.”   
“What do you mean?” Kara prodded, worried for her friend.   
“I’m too tired to jump. If I could just jump this would all be over but I’m too much of a coward to fucking jump.” Lena said as she vaguely gestured to the railing.   
Karas eyes went wide when she Finally understood what Lena meant.  
“Lena you are not a coward. You are the strongest person I know.” Kara told her grabbing hold of her hand and giving it a squeeze to try and ground Lena.   
“If I were so strong I’d be able to stand up and jump,” Lena continued.   
Kara shook her head and reached with her other hand to cup Lena’s cheek, forcing their eyes to meet, “No Lena. You are strong because you’re NOT jumping. I know what it feels like to be desperate to want to end it, and I know how hard it is to fight that instinct. But right now? You sitting here and not moving towards that railing makes you the strongest person I know because you are fighting that inner demon weather you know it or not.”   
Lena looked down and softly nodded her head before looking back at Kara with fresh tears in her eyes, “I’m so tired, Kara.”   
Kara immediately drew her friend into a hug, settling her on her lap, gently rocking until Lena’s tears lessened.   
“When’s the last time you’ve slept?” Kara asked.   
Thinking back Lena couldn’t remember the last time she actually slept. Not knowing, she shrugged.   
“I would ask about eating but getting you to eat on a good day is like pulling teeth.” Kara mused.   
They sat on the porch for awhile before Kara spoke again, “how would you feel about me helping you shower and getting you to bed?”   
Lena thought it over before nodding. If the darkness wasn’t so overwhelming she might’ve been embarrassed about Kara having to help her shower and seeing her undressed. The unresolved tension, sexual and otherwise between the two women would’ve been palpable any other time. But today, with Lena’s mind surrounded with darkness and sadness she only saw it as her best friend helping her.  
Carefully Kara lifted Lena from the balcony floor and walked her to the bathroom, setting Lena down on the closed toilet seat before turning on the tap in the shower.   
Slowly Kara Undressed Lena and got her situated on the bench at the far end of the shower. Careful not to get herself wet Kara reached up and detached the shower head, testing the temperature and bringing it to Lena, gently rinsing her before grabbing a loofa and scrubbing gently on delicate skin.   
Once Kara was done with the loofa she grabbed the shampoo and took extra time working it into Lena’s raven locks before massaging it out and giving her one last rinse.   
Turning off the tap Kara used her super speed to grab a warmed towel and fresh pajamas for Lena before drying her and dressing her.   
After running a brush through Lena’s hair, Kara carefully carried her to the bed and tucked her in.   
Kara leaned down and kissed Lena’s forehead, “you are strong. You are loved. You are not alone.”   
“Stay! Please.” Lena asked, speaking for the first time since the balcony.   
Kara nodded before climbing into bed behind Lena, “of course. I’ll never leave you Lena.”   
“Thank you.” Lena whispered.   
“Get some rest, Love” Kara told her as she started stroking Lena’s forehead much like her mother would when she was a child. Without even thinking about it Kara started singing Kryprtonian lullabies and soon Lena went right to sleep.   
—-  
When Lena awoke it was to the sound of plates being shuffled and the smell of Chinese food. Walking out to the kitchen Lena smiled to see Kara piling her plate with food before making Lena a smaller version.   
The darkness was still there. Lena could feel it, but with Kara here it was easier to also feel the light.   
Getting better and fighting her demons was going to be a journey, but she she wasn’t alone in the fight. Stronger together. Maybe there was something to that.

**Author's Note:**

> I’ve had a really rough go of it lately and I just really needed to write this tonight. I’ve been feeling a lot like Lena lately unfortunately and I’m just very tired. 
> 
> If you are struggling please text the crisis line text START to 741-741.


End file.
